I don’t know what love is.

Posole
Ingredients
- 1.5-2 lbs pork shoulder/butt, cut into 3 inch pieces
- 1 Tbsp canola oil
- 2 ounces dried guajillo, stem removed and seeded
- 2 ounces dried ancho, stem removed and seeded
- 1 Roma tomato, quartered
- 10 cloves garlic, peeled
- 1 medium white onion, quartered cheese plus more for serving
- Water or stock to cover + more to thin as desired
- Salt
- Fresh cracked pepper
- 1 Tbsp Mexican oregano
- 1 tsp ground cumin
- Salt to taste
- 1-2 cans (16 ounces) hominy, drained and rinsed (depending on how thick you want it)
- Juice of 1 lime, plus additional wedges for serving
- For serving-
- Shredded cabbage
- Sliced radish
- Mexican oregano
- Diced white onion
Instructions
1. In a heavy bottomed pot or Dutch oven, heat oil on medium heat.
2. Liberally sprinkle pork with salt.
3. Turn heat up to medium high and sear pork on each side, approximately 4 minutes each side.
4. Remove from pot and set aside.
5. In a separate pot, set the heat to medium low, add the chiles, garlic, tomato and onion. Toast, don’t ROAST, everything. The skin of the tomato and the chiles should just begin to blister, about 10 minutes, flipping and stirring often. You want to get a little color on everything, not scorch it.
6. Once things are thoroughly toasted, pour water or stock over everything to ensure everything is covered.
7. Add cumin, a generous sprinkle of salt, and oregano. Let it begin to steep, and then transfer back into your heavy bottomed pot that you cooked the pork in, scraping the bottom to loosen any browned bits that have stuck.
8. Bring to a boil and reduce to a very low simmer. You want to steep, borderline simmer, not boil everything.
9. After thirty minutes, carefully pour the entire contents of the pot (ITS HOT PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Do this in batches if you need to) into a blender and blend really well until there aren’t chunks.
10. Here is where you can do as you wish. A lot of people prefer to strain the chile mixture through a fine mesh strainer. I get it, Chile skins etc, but I-
Don’t care
I don’t have time
It doesn’t bother me
So, as you wish.
11. Once it’s strained or not, add pork, chile mixture, hominy, juice of one lime and a generous sprinkle of salt back into the pot.
12. Bring to a very low boil, reduce to a simmer, and let it cook with the lid on for at least 60 minutes. It’s done when you stick a fork into a piece of pork and it falls apart on its own. You can take the pork out and shred it or leave it in bigger pieces, your choice.
13. Here’s where you also have another Choose Your Destiny moment. I like my posole very chile-forward so I don’t usually thin mine out. If I do, it’s with a minimal amount of stock, approximately 2 cups. If you like it thinner, do you. Like to be smacked in the mouth? Save your stock for another day.
14. Ladle into bowls, top with cabbage, generous amount of white onion, sliced radish (if that’s your deal) extra lime, and a sprinkle of Mexican oregano.
Ava,
I am so incredibly amazed by your strength. You are a treasure! 💕
You are doing it right. Ask all those questions. Give yourself time for the answers. They may come or the questions may fade.
Ava: I think even at my age (just turned 64) that I am constantly searching, revolving, and trying to figure out who I am. Just when I think I understand something or come to realize the truth, things suddenly change. Again, I am in a state of flux. Like you, I sought to validate myself through relationships and forced relationships to happen, but on my terms. Then, ‘poof’ they were not the right person, they were something I wanted but they did not want me. I longed to be married with children but that never happened. Parents have died, my sisters and brother have created their own families, and I still long to have my “own” thing. A family to spend holidays with, create memories but now I am too old to be married, as I am too set in my ways.