Latest Posts

6-24-2021

6-24-2021

When I am hungry for my mother, I find myself making a peanut butter and jelly. Not because I remember her making them on homemade bread (she didn’t) or because she made her jam (she didn’t), but because it was her signature love-move.  And to be fair, my mother was a...

3-29-2021

3-29-2021

The truth is, I’ve been wanting to write but I’ve struggled naming or placing my feelings aside from fragmented bits of information. The extent of my articulating feels like watching ink run down a page, so... There’s that. There’s a finality to writing things down...

2-16-2021

2-16-2021

It’s 5:03 and I’m splashing water on my face, ritualistic, willing it to revive me. Is that... barf? In the toilet? Who barfed? I ask Scarlett if she was feeling okay and she responds, very casually, that she threw up last night but she’s fine. It’s fine. She feels...

2-2-2021

2-2-2021

I’ve been forced to sit down and really examine somethings lately, but especially the way I subscribe to exhaustion = Doing It Right aka Success, but also... Not really having a choice. From the time I settled into a stay-at-home parent role, I was the stay-at-home...

1-20-2021

You won’t get nutrition information from me. Not calories, not a macro breakdown, not whether or not something I make is “keto friendly” (surprise, it’s not!) I’ll tell you about allergens, because allergens = health. Weight doesn’t equal health. Nor does whether or...

1-17-2021

This isn’t some Sad Girl blog... Okay, maybe a little. But, like, some things are just sad right now. When I think about things overall, like- My green grapes being shitty because I couldn’t taste them prior to buying (I am turning into my mother), or how I’m having a...

1-11-2021

2020 haunted me in ways I didn't know were possible. There was the obvious- A poorly handled pandemic. The one I watched unfurl over my shoulder, as I was privledged enough to shelter myself and my family from the majority of the reality. There was my growing belly,...

1-4-2021

1-4-2021

 I don’t know what love is. Oh, for crying out loud, quiet down. Of course I know what love is. I know what hearing “Momma” sounds like. I know how I feel when I trace the eyebrows of my babies as they fall asleep. I know the feeling of a transformative meal. I know...

12-25-2020

12-25-2020

Disassociating is my toxic trait. A coping and survival mechanism I adapted as a child, became my go-to Emotion Weapon later on. It aids in the avoidance of feelings of hurt and betrayal, which can be good, but it also makes it challenging for me to maintain...

12-18-2020

I haven’t cooked anything worth noting for a week- Until today. I sustain off taste-tests from work, bagged salad (yes, still), and half-drank cups of coffee that I only seem to get one or two hot sips from, despite it being housed inside of a Yeti. And shit sucks. I...

12-11-2020

Tell me your Funny Not Funny moments? I’ll go first. I need to move out. I need to apply for temporary assistance so that I can move out and find my footing and run a business that is quite literally a newborn, and not tank everything. You know? I need to apply for...

12-02-2020

Okay, so cohabitating and coparenting while being separated isn’t working. It feels like walking on a tightrope. It’s okay and helpful and forging ahead when it’s going decent. But it’s also tears and arguing and tightrope walking and reminds me of why we are...

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